Is being selfish the ultimate act of rebellion? I’ve been called selfish by parents, pastors, teachers, and ex-boyfriends—and I don’t think they meant it as a compliment. But even as a kid, I questioned why it was so wrong. Am I being selfish or am I just deviating from the comfort zone you expected me to stay in?

 “Selfish” has been used as an insult to make people feel guilty for prioritizing themselves. And the shame that comes with it trains you to overthink, overgive, and constantly put others first. Where does that lead you? It makes you an anxious kid who can’t say no. A partner too afraid to stand up for themselves. And someone who asks for less, just to avoid the label. Constantly fighting the “selfish” allegations is a fast track to burnout. It kills creativity and dreams. It makes your life about their expectations. Ask me how I know. 

This summer, I’ve taken on the badge of being selfish. I no longer attend events, entertain conversations, or maintain relationships that don’t genuinely interest or benefit me. And honestly? I’ve never been happier. My relationships are more organic and authentic than they have ever been. For the first time, I feel like I’m truly living for me. Because, if not for me, then who? I’m the creator and director of my own life. Why should I hand the script to someone else? Why should my story be written around what I was supposed to do for others—without ever asking what I wanted?

And here’s the thing: you can be selfish and still be kind. Still be loving. Still be generous. Still have meaningful and authentic relationships. These traits are not mutually exclusive. You can still compromise without compromising yourself. 

I’m not saying go through life being a dick. I’m saying: live a life that is true to *you*. There’s no reward for asking for less. No merit in betraying yourself. To do so is the true cardinal sin. So love yourself, selfishly, viciously, and without apology.